In Miami, Florida, "Linda” is writing a book about her life before, during, and after the twenty years she spent married to a very violent man. Linda wants her readers to know about the pressure to marry she felt as the oldest daughter in a traditional Hindu family, how she hoped that prayer would “fix” her husband, the physical abuse that contributed to her disability, and the point at which she came to realize that doing what was best for her children meant saving herself.

“I thought that I would sacrifice my life to make my kids' lives better,” Linda explained. “Then I realized I wasn't being a martyr, I was committing suicide.”

The journey from social isolation and abuse to independence and safety has been a long one, made even longer by a legal battle for divorce that cost her dearly. The financial sting endures along with another source of anguish: when Linda, post-divorce, turned to men in her South Asian community with simple requests like help in finding a mechanic, she got silence.

During the days when the system failed her and compassion was sparse, one person was instrumental in her survival. That person was Shashi Jagadish. Jagadish, who was trained as a psychologist in India, understood the cultural pressure that initially made divorce inconceivable to Linda. Through her work as an advocate for immigrant survivors of domestic violence, she understood that fears of being deported and losing custody over children have the power to paralyze.

In counseling sessions with Jagadish over a period of years, Linda recalls a series of conversations that proved particularly meaningful. Together, the two women took a close look at Hindu Scriptures and questioned interpretations of the scriptures that uphold sexist beliefs and attitudes. It was then that Linda understood that the cultural pressure she felt was rooted in sexism. She was then able to replace the expectation of self sacrifice that was so deeply ingrained in her with her right to live a violence free life, look out for the safety of her children and be empowered.

Several years have passed since Linda's divorce became final. Her children have finished college. She is busy with her prayer group, her writing group, and her work as a volunteer with Sahara, a group of Asian women working to raise awareness of domestic violence. Sahara has grown out of the organizing efforts of Sophie Brion, who directs the Women's Fund of Miami-Dade Women's Advocacy Project. “These women are recognizing their power to impact the lives of other women,” said Sophie Brion. “This empowerment in itself is changing lives.” The project is dedicated to nurturing grassroots women-led groups.

Through Sahara's work in Miami's South Asian community, survivors and community members come together to ensure that other women do not face the isolation and silence that made Linda's journey so long. Not surprisingly, one of the leaders of Sahara is Shashi Jagadish. “It's very gratifying to see women who were once terrified survive and take part in empowering other women,” Jagadish reports proudly.

The Women’s Fund –Women’s Advocacy Project is proud to have been selected to partner with:
The Women’s Funding Network on US Women With Out Borders