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What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence is violence that happens at home
between people who know each other: husbands and wives, boyfriends and
girlfriends whether or not they live together, same sex partners, relatives, and
parents and their children. Domestic violence is a way of acting in an intimate
or family relationship in which one partner is forced to change his or her
behavior in response to threats or abuse from the other partner. A lot of times
the violence is physical, but it can also be threats, isolation, intimidation,
harassment, emotional mistreatment, forced sex or making threats with regard to
having your children reported.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence in your home, you
are not alone. Even though most domestic violence is usually hidden, it is very
common and it probably affects people that you know.
Domestic violence will often get worse with time. It does not go away on its
own. It is important to remember that the violence is not your fault; your
abuser chooses to use domestic violence to control you. Domestic violence is a
crime in the United States. No matter what your abusive partner tells you, if he
is hurting you or your children then there are things you can do and people who
will help you stop the cycle of violence. Every person can get help to stop
domestic violence even if they do not have legal permission from the Bureau of
Citizenship and Immigration Services (BCIS), formerly known as Immigration and
Naturalization Service (INS), to be in the United States.
Excerpt from the Tapestri Website:
www.tapestri.org
Abuse Check List
Does your partner:
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Treat you roughly or grab,
push, pinch, shove, or hit you?
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Make you feel unable to
make decisions?
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Blame you for how they feel
or act?
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Prevent you from visiting your friends or
family?
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Use intimidation or threats
to gain compliance?
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Do you feel like no matter
what you do, your partner is never happy with you?
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Do you feel scared of how
your partner will act/ react?
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Put down your
accomplishments or goals?
If the answer to
any of these questions is yes you may be experiencing abuse.
Safety Planning
If you are
thinking about leaving an abusive relationship it is important to make a safety
plan to make sure that you have all the things that you may need.
For more
information about safety planning visit:
- Keep with someone you trust; a spare set of
keys, a set of clothes, important papers, prescriptions and some money.
- Keep any evidence of physical abuse (ripped
clothes, photo of bruises and injuries, etc.).
- Plan the safest time to get away.
- Know where you can go for help. Tell
someone what is happening to you. Have the phone numbers of friends, relatives
and domestic violence shelters with you.
- Call the police if you are in danger and
need help.
- If you are injured, go to the hospital
emergency room or doctor and report what happened to you. Ask that they
document your visit.
- Plan with your children and identify a safe
place for them; a room with a lock or a neighbor's house where they can go for
help. Reassure them their job is to stay safe, not protect you.
- Arrange a signal with a neighbor, i.e., if
the porch light is on, call the police.
Safety Planning Excerpt from :
http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/domesticviolence/safetyplan.shtml
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